Quixote's Wisdom

Don’t expect to be understood if you’re on the edge of something.
– Jean

It’s not like all families don’t suck.
– Carmen

An act of charity can be an occasion for sin.
– Hartford Catholic Worker

Leave me alone; I’m being mentally ill.
– Rachel

There’s a special place in hell for Americans. They opened a new wing.
– Claudia

A day without Kris’s smart-ass remarks is like a day without coffee.
– James

They had to form a support group for counselors who have me on their schedules.
– Joyce

The Spanish word “querencia” was introduced to the Garage by a guest who learned it when he studied Cervantes’ Don Quixote in Spanish and English. It is a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.

We’re part of history; There was Wyatt Earp and then there was us.
– Clay

If we are what we eat, we are cheap, fat and easy.
– Gizmo

I have always been driven by survival.
– Richard

“Fair” is a playground word.
– Kali

Our guests understand about having to ask for every single thing you need. Does that explain some attitude problems?
– Emilie

I could, if I cared.
– Nick

I am the nicest asshole you’ll ever meet.
– Bobby

I think it may be easier to behave with integrity when one is not smart.
– Anonymous

I can find a dark cloud in any silver lining.
– Kris

Whoever said the grass is greener on the other side has never been below it.

– James Wright

I like being depressed; it’s the only thing that makes me happy.

– Mark

You pay by the rules.

– Mathew, a probationer

I’m going to the big shelter in the sky.

– Dennis

When my mom jokes around, she’s doesn’t joke around.

– Sky

If you make losing a sin, you make cheating a sacrament.

– Mike Gerson

You are born an original. Don’t die a copy.

– Gizmo

Computers smell fear. – Josh

I am not homeless; I’m mortgageless. – Lee

Know what they call a pimple on your butt? A brain tumor. – James

To Quixote’s Jigsaw: My catma overrules your dogma. – Terry

“They” don’t make things the way they used to because they’re all dead. – Kris

God must want me alive cause I didn’t die last night. – Curtis

The grass is growing high along the stream, slowly drinking it dry.

Until the monsoon returns again to the too blue May. – Gene

Been paranoid long? Or is it a new hobby? – Allen

Mikey Mike’s Mantra

Peace • Harmony • Balance • Serenity • Tranquility

These are the five points of the shining star that guides me.

Ricky said, “She looks at me like I’m a stranger.” And Sid said, “Well, you’re stranger than her, and that counts.”

There are times when it could be simple if I knew what I was doing. – Claudia

The bummier you look, the better the tips are. – Thomas the magician

I don’t know whether churches go out of business; they just change their panhandling schemes. – Gene

I stopped to think one day and forgot to start again. – Terry

All things are possible and nothing is safe. – NPR

Do you know why witches use brooms? Because the vacuum is too heavy. – Rachel

Man plans and God laughs. Or cries. – Peter

The smarter you get the more puzzling it becomes.

– Rodney

I’m an old chameleon; I have reptile dysfunction.

– Allen

I am internally validated.

– Lee

Claudia created a witch whose vacuum is not too heavy to fly, but Rachel says for most witches the cords are too short and electricity is too expensive.

– Rachel

I’ve had too much Safe Sleep. Now I need some rest.

– Will

Only in the Garage will you hear a discussion of purgatory and dromedaries on the same day.

– Kris

Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.

– Anne Lamott

When you’re walking and you see a big tree, the best thing you can do is stop and look at one leaf. – Lee Hodges

Discussing then-candidate Trump’s declaration that immigrants from south of US are rapists and murderers, our guest Jorge said, “I’m Mexican; I can multi-task.”

To Michael Steven, after reading his death story in the last Epistle, Terry said, “You cheated the devil.”

The Fry’s VIP card stands for Virtual Invasion of Privacy. – Lee

Cottonwood fuzz happens because angels have dandruff. – Travis

Woof is good. – Kris and Chris

I went to my psychiatrist and he said, “You’re crazy.”
I said, “Well, can I get a second opinion?”
“OK. You’re ugly, too.” – Terry

Mandatory UA: Message in a bottle.

— Ed Karosik

Response to “How are you?”

“I’m on the right side of the dirt,”

— Mike Meikis

If you can’t dazzle ‘em with brilliance, baffle ‘em with bullshit.

— Sid

About caramel candy: “They’re just not the same without teeth.”

— Terry

I hope I am half as good as some people think I am, and half as bad as some people think I am.

— Kris

The least we can do for the poor is less than we thought.

— Steven Colbert

It’s my world; you just live in it.

—Kip’s grandpa

We used to be seekers; now we’re finders.

—Carlos Santana at age 66 on PBS

If you meet a jerk in the morning, you met a jerk. If you meet jerks all day, you’re the jerk.

—Ed

Starbucks: they charge by the syllable.

—Lance

I’ve never had the luxury of being picky.

—Clay

It’s like we have these numerical constructs doing things for us that we expect a human being to do. So we treat the machine like a person and it treats us like a machine.

—Emilie

The deeper you go, the more shallow you get.

—Kris

Know how I survived this long? No fault clause.

—Dave

God gets it.

—Emilie

Life is tragic for those who feel, but comical for those who think.

—unknown

Terry: I got everything ready if something traumatic happens.

Mike: Like waking up?

Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday.

– Don

I accumulate over $700 a year on the days that I don’t play the lottery.

– Lee

Somebody’s got to be a smart ass. There are a lot of dumb asses out there.

– Terry

The Pope of hope walks a tight rope.

– Jill Sandleben

We’re here because we’re not all there. And that’s OK.

– Dave

Don’t ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.

– Danny

Life is a patient teacher.

– Claudia

Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

– James Bryant Conant

In a global world, you will always end up back where you started if you keep moving forward.

– Kris

Tammy: What is it that everyone has in one’s life that can never be replaced?

Terry: Hair?

Tammy: No, it’s time.

You can’t stay in the same place just because you’ve built a nice house there.

– Jon Stewart, NPR 11/19/14

They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.

– Mexican peasant