Quixote's WisdomLitte bits of wisdom, shared by our guests.
Whoever said the grass is greener on the other side has never been below it.
– James Wright
I like being depressed; it’s the only thing that makes me happy.
You pay by the rules.
– Mathew, a probationer
I’m going to the big shelter in the sky.
When my mom jokes around, she’s doesn’t joke around.
If you make losing a sin, you make cheating a sacrament.
– Mike Gerson
You are born an original. Don’t die a copy.
Computers smell fear. – Josh
I am not homeless; I’m mortgageless. – Lee
Know what they call a pimple on your butt? A brain tumor. – James
To Quixote’s Jigsaw: My catma overrules your dogma. – Terry
“They” don’t make things the way they used to because they’re all dead. – Kris
God must want me alive cause I didn’t die last night. – Curtis
The grass is growing high along the stream, slowly drinking it dry.
Until the monsoon returns again to the too blue May. – Gene
Been paranoid long? Or is it a new hobby? – Allen
Mikey Mike’s Mantra
Peace • Harmony • Balance • Serenity • Tranquility
These are the five points of the shining star that guides me.
Ricky said, “She looks at me like I’m a stranger.” And Sid said, “Well, you’re stranger than her, and that counts.”
There are times when it could be simple if I knew what I was doing. – Claudia
The bummier you look, the better the tips are. – Thomas the magician
I don’t know whether churches go out of business; they just change their panhandling schemes. – Gene
I stopped to think one day and forgot to start again. – Terry
All things are possible and nothing is safe. – NPR
Do you know why witches use brooms? Because the vacuum is too heavy. – Rachel
Man plans and God laughs. Or cries. – Peter
The smarter you get the more puzzling it becomes.
I’m an old chameleon; I have reptile dysfunction.
I am internally validated.
Claudia created a witch whose vacuum is not too heavy to fly, but Rachel says for most witches the cords are too short and electricity is too expensive.
I’ve had too much Safe Sleep. Now I need some rest.
Only in the Garage will you hear a discussion of purgatory and dromedaries on the same day.
Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.
– Anne Lamott
When you’re walking and you see a big tree, the best thing you can do is stop and look at one leaf. – Lee Hodges
Discussing then-candidate Trump’s declaration that immigrants from south of US are rapists and murderers, our guest Jorge said, “I’m Mexican; I can multi-task.”
To Michael Steven, after reading his death story in the last Epistle, Terry said, “You cheated the devil.”
The Fry’s VIP card stands for Virtual Invasion of Privacy. – Lee
Cottonwood fuzz happens because angels have dandruff. – Travis
Woof is good. – Kris and Chris
I went to my psychiatrist and he said, “You’re crazy.”
I said, “Well, can I get a second opinion?”
“OK. You’re ugly, too.” – Terry
Mandatory UA: Message in a bottle.
— Ed Karosik
Response to “How are you?”
“I’m on the right side of the dirt,”
— Mike Meikis
If you can’t dazzle ‘em with brilliance, baffle ‘em with bullshit.
About caramel candy: “They’re just not the same without teeth.”
I hope I am half as good as some people think I am, and half as bad as some people think I am.
The least we can do for the poor is less than we thought.
— Steven Colbert
It’s my world; you just live in it.
We used to be seekers; now we’re finders.
—Carlos Santana at age 66 on PBS
If you meet a jerk in the morning, you met a jerk. If you meet jerks all day, you’re the jerk.
Starbucks: they charge by the syllable.
I’ve never had the luxury of being picky.
It’s like we have these numerical constructs doing things for us that we expect a human being to do. So we treat the machine like a person and it treats us like a machine.
The deeper you go, the more shallow you get.
Know how I survived this long? No fault clause.
God gets it.
Life is tragic for those who feel, but comical for those who think.
Terry: I got everything ready if something traumatic happens.
Mike: Like waking up?
Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday.
I accumulate over $700 a year on the days that I don’t play the lottery.
Somebody’s got to be a smart ass. There are a lot of dumb asses out there.
The Pope of hope walks a tight rope.
– Jill Sandleben
We’re here because we’re not all there. And that’s OK.
Don’t ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.
Life is a patient teacher.
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
– James Bryant Conant
In a global world, you will always end up back where you started if you keep moving forward.
Tammy: What is it that everyone has in one’s life that can never be replaced?
Tammy: No, it’s time.
You can’t stay in the same place just because you’ve built a nice house there.
– Jon Stewart, NPR 11/19/14
They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.
– Mexican peasant
(=_=) Someone is very sleepy.
m(__)m You have a very big nose and long eye lashes.
(>_<) You are pissing me off big time!
(9_9) I had six five-hour energy drinks and wish I were dead.
d(-_-)b Talk to the headphones, man, I’m tuning you out.
(;_;) Crying because I received all these and I still don’t feel like I have any friends.
(+_+) Got knocked out.
(=’v’=) That cute, chubby bird ate my pet hermit crab again.
(*x*) Man, that was sour!
(#_#) Don’t come by, I just took bath salts.
^(*@*)^ I hate your guts, but my dog would be happy to play fetch with you.
(6\_/6) I’m trying very hard not to yell at you.
(<‘_’>) But… but… don’t you feel sorry for me?
!*_*! Ear rings
$*_*$ Curly hair
(=z=) Those energy drinks finally wore off.
– Claudia Finn
- Fiscal cliff
- Moral cliff