Quixote's Wisdom

Litte bits of wisdom, shared by our guests.

Quixote’s Quips Dec. 2017

Whoever said the grass is greener on the other side has never been below it.

– James Wright


I like being depressed; it’s the only thing that makes me happy.

– Mark


You pay by the rules.

– Mathew, a probationer


I’m going to the big shelter in the sky.

– Dennis


When my mom jokes around, she’s doesn’t joke around.

– Sky


If you make losing a sin, you make cheating a sacrament.

– Mike Gerson


You are born an original. Don’t die a copy.

– Gizmo

Quips in August 2017

Computers smell fear.Josh


I am not homeless; I’m mortgageless. – Lee


Know what they call a pimple on your butt? A brain tumor. – James


To Quixote’s Jigsaw: My catma overrules your dogma. – Terry


“They” don’t make things the way they used to because they’re all dead. – Kris


God must want me alive cause I didn’t die last night. – Curtis


The grass is growing high along the stream, slowly drinking it dry.


Until the monsoon returns again to the too blue May. – Gene


Been paranoid long? Or is it a new hobby? – Allen


Mikey Mike’s Mantra

Peace • Harmony • Balance • Serenity • Tranquility

These are the five points of the shining star that guides me.

From the 2016 Summer Quotes

Ricky said, “She looks at me like I’m a stranger.” And Sid said, “Well, you’re stranger than her, and that counts.”

There are times when it could be simple if I knew what I was doing. – Claudia

The bummier you look, the better the tips are. – Thomas the magician

I don’t know whether churches go out of business; they just change their panhandling schemes. – Gene

I stopped to think one day and forgot to start again. – Terry

All things are possible and nothing is safe. – NPR

Do you know why witches use brooms? Because the vacuum is too heavy. – Rachel

Man plans and God laughs. Or cries. – Peter

Quips in May 2017

The smarter you get the more puzzling it becomes.

– Rodney


I’m an old chameleon; I have reptile dysfunction.

– Allen


I am internally validated.

– Lee

Quixote’s quips 12/2016

Claudia created a witch whose vacuum is not too heavy to fly, but Rachel says for most witches the cords are too short and electricity is too expensive.

– Rachel


I’ve had too much Safe Sleep. Now I need some rest.

– Will


Only in the Garage will you hear a discussion of purgatory and dromedaries on the same day.

– Kris


Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.

– Anne Lamott

November 2016

When you’re walking and you see a big tree, the best thing you can do is stop and look at one leaf. – Lee Hodges

Discussing then-candidate Trump’s declaration that immigrants from south of US are rapists and murderers, our guest Jorge said, “I’m Mexican; I can multi-task.”

To Michael Steven, after reading his death story in the last Epistle, Terry said, “You cheated the devil.”

The Fry’s VIP card stands for Virtual Invasion of Privacy. – Lee

Cottonwood fuzz happens because angels have dandruff. – Travis

Woof is good. – Kris and Chris

I went to my psychiatrist and he said, “You’re crazy.”
I said, “Well, can I get a second opinion?”
“OK. You’re ugly, too.” – Terry

From the Summer Epistle (2015)

Mandatory UA: Message in a bottle.

— Ed Karosik

Response to “How are you?”

“I’m on the right side of the dirt,”

— Mike Meikis

If you can’t dazzle ‘em with brilliance, baffle ‘em with bullshit.

— Sid

About caramel candy: “They’re just not the same without teeth.”

— Terry

I hope I am half as good as some people think I am, and half as bad as some people think I am.

— Kris

The least we can do for the poor is less than we thought.

— Steven Colbert

Wisdom in Spring 2015

It’s my world; you just live in it.

—Kip’s grandpa

We used to be seekers; now we’re finders.

—Carlos Santana at age 66 on PBS

If you meet a jerk in the morning, you met a jerk. If you meet jerks all day, you’re the jerk.

—Ed

Starbucks: they charge by the syllable.

—Lance

I’ve never had the luxury of being picky.

—Clay

It’s like we have these numerical constructs doing things for us that we expect a human being to do. So we treat the machine like a person and it treats us like a machine.

Emilie

The deeper you go, the more shallow you get.

—Kris

Know how I survived this long? No fault clause.

—Dave

God gets it.

—Emilie

Life is tragic for those who feel, but comical for those who think.

—unknown

From the 2014 Winter Edition

Terry: I got everything ready if something traumatic happens.

Mike: Like waking up?


Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday.

Don


I accumulate over $700 a year on the days that I don’t play the lottery.

Lee


Somebody’s got to be a smart ass. There are a lot of dumb asses out there.

Terry


The Pope of hope walks a tight rope.

Jill Sandleben


We’re here because we’re not all there. And that’s OK.

Dave


Don’t ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.

Danny


Life is a patient teacher.

– Claudia


Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

James Bryant Conant


In a global world, you will always end up back where you started if you keep moving forward.

Kris


Tammy: What is it that everyone has in one’s life that can never be replaced?

Terry: Hair?

Tammy: No, it’s time.


You can’t stay in the same place just because you’ve built a nice house there.

Jon Stewart, NPR 11/19/14


They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.

Mexican peasant

Quixote’s emoticons

(=_=)  Someone is very sleepy.

m(__)m  You have a very big nose and long eye lashes.

(>_<)  You are pissing me off big time!

(9_9)  I had six five-hour energy drinks and wish I were dead.

d(-_-)b  Talk to the headphones, man, I’m tuning you out.

(;_;)  Crying because I received all these and I still don’t feel like I have any friends.

(+_+)  Got knocked out.

(=’v’=)  That cute, chubby bird ate my pet hermit crab again.

(*x*)  Man, that was sour!

(#_#)   Don’t come by, I just took bath salts.

^(*@*)^  I hate your guts, but my dog would be happy to play fetch with you.

(6\_/6)  I’m trying very hard not to yell at you.

(<‘_’>)  But… but… don’t you feel sorry for me?

(*7*)  Unibrow

!*_*!  Ear rings

(*:_:*)  Pimples

$*_*$   Curly hair

(=z=)  Those energy drinks finally wore off.

– Claudia Finn

by Gene

The birdhouse in the smoking area is empty, but there’s a nest close by. It must have been a homeless bird. It didn’t want to be inside.

by Jeff

The fall of the Great American Empire:

  • Fiscal cliff
  • Moral cliff
  • Yippeeee!!
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